Bay and Gulf.

Tampa bay is a large area. I have been living like a retiree, or maybe just someone on vacation…though who knows what those people might be doing anyhow?

I’ve been thinking again.

I have had a few (abstract at best) conversations in the past few days that have left me teetering at that odd place between the nonchalant “nothing matters” and the blessed “everything matters”. This is not a new teeter, though I am approaching it differently. I make no choice or assumption whether our actions or interactions matter. They happen, and I have little control, excepting my own thought and reaction…I will accept and move forward, then, without much thought of these chasmic and cyclical discussions about the basis and foundation of existence. 

It is real, or not. I have free will, or not. Why should I wonder about it? Moving on then.

This weekend I read a book called Ecotopia, and today read this article (which is not about Mary Jane hardly as much as the title or images might suggest). I have been on this ramble for a couple months, and have begun finally to clear my mind of the cycles and entrapments of thought I had been building for myself for perhaps years… I wonder if I am traveling for the more idealistic want to find a place and surroundings that feel more akin to and accepting of my kind of thought? (that sentence is a doozy, and might not be a sentence..i am aware)

Anyway, the article explains the experiment with rats given a lever that would dispense heroin. The rats would (naturally, it could be supposed) press the lever until they were too high, and go on doing this until death. The lust for a high far outweighed the need or want for that of food or water. This was challenged by another experiment where the rats that had become addicted to heroin (in a cage) were placed into “rat parks” and encouraged to exercise and socialize. These rats weened themselves from the smack, and became part of the bigger rat community. I was explaining my penchant for the drink the other day to the co-pilot, and my thoughts on how this developed are very close to those shown in this experiment.

I am no rat (rather and Ox in the zodiac). I am a person with some illusion of self worth and individuality. I wonder if this over-producing, over-worked, and over-consuming society is missing the little things. You can write on a legal pad, or on scrap paper in graphite. You can write in a handbound book in ink. What’s the difference? The difference is the same as eating well-prepared lovingly grown and fresh food VS. some sort of Major Tom inspired protein powder. Home Depot VS. a small local hardware shop. Mc D’s BBQ VS Southern style pit roasted BBQ. 

If you don’t see the difference, or there is not one, I can admit to being mistaken. I see one. Clearly. 

This is not meant to be some diatribe on local organic rich people stuff…I intend much more to encourage a thought toward supporting folks that do what they do for more than just a bank statement. More diverse cash flow means more diverse voting by the vote that counts in our capitalist society. We make decisions on what to spend money on. Can we collectively be more aware of the effects? I don’t know…but I try, daily. 

Feeling inspired, if not incensed….and sore from beach running and jumping and swimming and digging and…..

Post more soon. To Asheville this weekend, it seems. 

Guess we will find out.

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