In a couple days I will have driven twenty something hours halfway across this continent’s wide middle section for absolutely no good reason. I just happen to have a feeling that I want to be in Denver a while. I’ve done this kind of thing before, but each time seems totally different. Sometimes there are friends, family, or girls involved.
I have been met with the upset kind of “i need you here” which I see often as ‘I want you here’. I have been met with the “I wish I could do that” and the “I think it will be good for you” and “Good luck” and the “Do it before you have kids.” Feeling myself to be the catalyst of this behavior, I think about it often. I tend to float about. I do this in both the big picture (life), and in the small frame (I can be found daily waffling about). I think a lot on the idea that there are all these people having very real experiences in their lives from a decision I am making. I think about the fact that they are each potentially losing one person, and in leaving, I am potentially losing many. It feels really important to me to accept these maybe losses. It will stick if it is meant to. I have known people face to face for a day whom I still correspond with years later. Meeting new people, new situations, new is a strange looking word.
I am reminding myself that the Philadelphia friends know me as someone that lives here, I’ve been here three years. I did not intend on being here so long…but I like it here. It’s been really good to me.I hope to come back to open arms. I think I will.
I really cannot know the thought of those that do not travel. I do travel, and in a way, I feel like I always have. The family moved about when I was younger, though I am not certain how much. My parents did the ol’ split up in the nineties, and my brother and I moved to Philadelphia from the Denver area a bit later. Fast forward a bunch, I like to move around. I don’t much care for vacations. I like to meander until I find a place that seems good, and stay while it is good. One can with ease claim a spot on the workforce in any town in this country. Get creative. It is much more fun to cook a meal at a shelter than to fly a sign at the red light near the tracks. Volunteering is network central. Anyway, a proactive life on the road is intensely rewarding. Goodbyes feel like hello. Smiles abound. Sometimes there is hunger, or your feet are numb for hours as you slide along Wyoming back roads in a dumb jaguar as old as you are while it snows.
I like whatever that thing is just after that next bend in the road. Maybe you can tell me what it is? I have never eyed it, but I know I want everything to do with it. And also: this traveling stuff is fun.
What I am really trying to say here is that I really have enjoyed my time here. I am entirely grateful for every lesson and opportunity afforded me here. I love the people I have met. I love, maybe in undeterminable amounts those I have come to know better.
Thank you, Philadelphia.
At the end of every day, and at the beginning of each, I try to remember that it really does not matter where I am geographically. I have addresses. Writing letters feels the same as speaking. A letter evolves. I do not edit or re-write a letter. My listener is the very best listener ever, they are a reader.